Clumsy
by Tah the Trickster
Summary: Relationships are rarely coordinated well. They're even more difficult when those in it don't mesh well. But they can get through it. Maybe. Hopefully. (White Rose) (Ongoing)
1. Chapter 1

The first time we kissed was following a particularly gruelling mission.

The way she'd darted in and out of close range with the Grimm, frequently coming within scarce inches of my own attacks, the idiot was lucky she'd gotten off with only a minor beating rather than, say, a snapped neck or a faceful of fire.

She finally realized that my yelling at her wasn't an act, and smoothly ducked out of my way, attacking from another angle and getting the beast too turned around to manage to attack either one of us properly. It took her long enough.

That didn't stop her from taking the Grimm's tail to her stomach when I blasted it in the face with flames, though. She smacked into a tree and hit the ground with a crack. An unintentional yelp had escaped my lips, then, and I emptied my entire chamber of red dust into the Grimm's gut. The trees shook when it fell.

"That was so cool!" Ruby chirped delightedly, springing to her feet with a massive grin. "Oh man I didn't know you could shoot the entire chamber like that! Wow, geez, what was that _recoil_ like—" I stormed towards her, incensed. Her smile froze and dropped into a nervous grin. "Um, I know you're mad that I got in the way, um, again—"

"You could've been _killed_, you _idiot!_" I seethed, sheathing Myrtenaster so I could throttle her properly.

Ruby began backing up, hands raised in a defensive gesture. "I wasn't going to be killed, I just got a little banged up! I mean, yeah, you sort of, um… scorched my cloak and all, but I mean there was no _real_ danger of, uh, catching fire or um—" Her nervousness only increased when she realized she'd backed into a tree. "I-I, uh—" She balked when I grabbed her by the clasps of her hood, jerking her towards me.

It was far from a pleasant kiss—she'd split her lip something awful taking a blow to the face, and the coppery taste of blood nearly made me pull back. Plus she hadn't been expecting it and so didn't respond properly to the surprise, her teeth clicking sharp against mine and her forehead bashing against my own.

I'd cursed at the impact, releasing the clasps of her now faintly-charred robe as she stumbled backward, her face crimson with flustered shock. I regarded her scuffed-up bruised-up self briefly before dealing her a good wallop upside the head.

That snapped her out of it.

"_Ow!_" Ruby rubbed the back of her head, glaring balefully at me.

"Stop trying to get us both killed!" I ordered, jabbing her in the chest with a manicured nail. "So help me if you _die_ on a mission I will bring you back to life to_kill you myself!_"

She stared at me in disbelief. Her jaw worked briefly, trying to come up with some response and ultimately failing.

I sighed. "_Geez_…" I wasn't entirely sure what to say to her either. "Come on, _Red_, let's get back to Beacon."

I turned around to start walking, then, but I swore I saw Ruby touch her fingers to her lips in wonder as I did.


	2. Chapter 2

The second time time we kissed was her idea.I twitched again, a sharp "hic!" slipping past my lips. I followed it up with an irate little growl. I wasn't sure there was anything that was quite on the same level of annoying as a case of hiccups. Particularly when said case lasted _two damn hours_.

Ruby, lying on her back at the foot of my bed, stifled a giggle into her book.

I shot her a venomous glare over the top of my notebook. "And just _what_ is so funny?" I huffed. My ire was only increased when I hiccuped again, the noise only serving to ruin the bite in my voice.

She merely laughed again, setting her book down open on her chest and turning her head to grin at me, her hair falling into her face. "Your hiccups are just so_girly!_"

I raised a brow. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"They just are! It's really cute!"

My diaphragm spasmed again, harder that time, and I growled in frustration. "It most certainly is _not_ cute. I've had them for _two_—" hiccup "—_two hours!_"

That made her sit up in mild surprise. "Really? That long?" She put her book to the side, not waiting for a response. "Have you tried to get rid of them?"

"Of course." I shot her a _look_ and went back to writing notes, glancing at my textbook on occasion.

"Tried holding your breath?"

"Yes."

"Drinking water?"

"Of course."

"Drinking water from the wrong side of the cup?"

I rolled my eyes, another hiccup making me jerk. "Unfortunately." I hadn't managed it well. Fortunately I'd had time to change shirts before Ruby arrived for our study session.

"Drinking water while upside down?"

I lowered my notebook entirely, giving her an incredulous look. "You just—" hiccup "—_you_ just made that up!"

Ruby laughed sheepishly. "Well, I mean… it _might_ work."

I raised a brow, fixing a deadpan look on her. "Have _you_ ever tried it?"

"I said it _might_ work."

"That's a no then."

"It's a maybe!"

I went back to taking notes. "I think you're just trying to see if I'd try it. I'm not that—" hiccup "—gullible."

Ruby hummed, grabbing her book and rolling over so she was closer to me. She began reading again, but judging from the way she kept glancing at me, she wasn't reading very closely.

She proved my point after a few moments of silent not-reading: "Have you tried getting someone to surprise you yet?"

"No."

"Why not?" She put her book away again, to my annoyance. "That's one of the best ways to get rid of hiccups!"

I heaved a long-suffering sigh. Or at least tried to: my hiccups ruined it halfway through. "Be_cause_, Red, I am _trying_ to study here. That's why _you're_ here too. To help us both _study_. Here. At this _study session_. Which you are _clearly_ not doing."

"Well, your hiccups are distracting!"

I scoffed. "To _you_, maybe."

"Well, yeah, to me. They're preventing me from studying. Here. At the study session."

If she'd been anyone else I might've smirked. But seeing as it was _Ruby_ I mostly just wanted to smack her again.

"Then perhaps you should learn to obtain a little _focus_." I tried to go back to my reading but I was uncomfortably aware that she was sitting right in front of me now, watching me. "Let me rephrase: focus on the _book_, not on _me_."

Her response was eager: "Can I try to surprise you enough to make your hiccups go away?"

"Absolutely not."

"Why _not?_" she whined.

I licked the pad of my thumb and turned the page in my book. "For one, because I said so." I hiccuped again. "Besides, you couldn't possibly surprise me enough for it to work." I barely spared her a glance. "And if you try to do so by screaming in my ear I _will_ blast you out of the window."

She was quiet for a few minutes after that one.

"Hey, look up at me."

"No. Whatever face you're pulling isn't going to scare my hiccups away."

"You haven't even looked!"

"And I'm not going to."

"Come on!"

"I said no."

"Just humor me! I'll leave you alone if you do."

I tried to sigh and hiccuped again. I raised my head "_Fine_, but you have to le—"

It took a moment to register Ruby's lips against mine.

It was a lot more pleasant this time, her motions soft and shy against me. I could now understand why she'd frozen when I did this to her—I was now _entirely_ too flustered to respond properly, and could do little more than sit there and let her kiss me, the rough, calloused skin of her fingers shyly rubbing my wrist.

She pulled away too quickly, and I was left dazed. "…uh…" Ruby grinned broadly, mischief glittering in her silver eyes. I snapped back to reality. "What was _that?_" I demanded, my voice more shrill than I wanted it to be.

Her smile awkwardly diminished. "Um… Me getting rid of your hiccups?" I stared at her incredulously. "Wow, you're um… _really _red. Are you angry?"

"So you _kissed me?_" I was still stuck on her methods.

"Well, it worked!" Ruby protested, a deep flush creeping into her ears and cheeks.

"You're insane!" I barked, the heat in my face finally registering.

"_You_ kissed _me first!_"

"That was _different!_" I huffed finally, jerking my head back down to my book, avoiding her gaze. "Just get back to studying! I can't _afford_ a bad grade."

"But—" She broke off with an annoyed click of her tongue when she realized I was ignoring her as best as I could. Ruby bitterly mumbled something about it _totally_being the same, but picked up her book and began reading again, sulking.

I licked my lips when I was certain she wasn't looking.


	3. Chapter 3

The third time had been an accident.

She'd caught sight of me carefully sanding Myrtenaster's blade clean, and was instantly on me to watch as I did so.

I glanced over my shoulder at her as she watched with wide, curious eyes. "Can I help you?" I turned my attention back to my sword.

"Just watching. Are we going somewhere or are you just cleaning it?" She propped her chin up on my shoulder to watch. I stiffened and tried to glare at her again. The girl honestly had no sense of personal space.

"_I'm_ going to go to a practice room to train."

She apparently didn't notice my shift in pronouns: "Can I come too?"

"_Why?_"

"Because I never get to see you fight! Whenever you are, I'm too busy fighting too! Come on, please?" I grunted when she delivered a sudden rib-crushing hug around my waist, pulling me flush against her. "I'll be quiet! Please? You won't even know I'm there—"

I growled as her grip tightened. "Ruby."

"—as a _mouse_, I won't even say a word! I just want to see you train because _wow_you have a _multi-action dust rapier_, and that is just so _cool_ and I haven't ever seen you train—"

"_Ruby_."

"—it does _so_ much damage the way you use it! And I just want to see what you even _do_ to be able to use it like that, I promise I won't bother you—"

"_Red!_" I barked finally, making her shut up with a jump.

"Yes?"

"If you _let go_ of me _right now_ I will _allow_ you to watch me train."

Ruby gave a pleased sort of squeak, releasing me in an instant.

She bounced around me like a puppy as I strode down Beacon's halls towards the practice room, her usual chatter filling the silence between us.

But, true to her word, when I drew my blade in the small private practice room, she didn't say a word. Ruby merely settled down on the floor near the door, feet together and knees out in a butterfly position. She gripped her ankles in her hands, leaning forward intently to watch. I didn't miss the massive grin she wore.

I had to assume that Beacon Academy had some sort of contract with a weaponry supply company, because there was no rule against completely dismembering training dummies. In fact, for every one that was completely obliterated, by the next day a new one had appeared in its place.

So I didn't bother holding back.

My mind whirled insistently as I attacked, constantly reminding me of my training, locking my body into proper posture as I went at it. I had to be especially on point now that I had an audience. God forbid I messed something up while she was watching. I'd never live it down. Particularly not after she'd been so eager to watch me in the first place. No, this training session had to go over _perfectly_. It was absolutely not allowed to go any other way.

It turned out I needn't have worried. I think that even if I _had_ made any mistakes in either form or attack, Ruby wouldn't have noticed. As soon as I slid my rapier back into its sheath, she was up and bouncing around the wreckage of the dummy, squeaking and rambling eagerly about both my sword and technique.

I half-ignored her (it wasn't like she was giving me any opportunity to get a word in edgewise anyway) and merely preened at the attention, a slight smirk settling onto my lips.

Then she asked to hold Myrtenaster and I snapped back to reality in an instant.

"Absolutely not!" I huffed, offended that she would even ask. It was _my_ weapon, and there was no way I was letting her handle it. Yes, she was more capable than I'd initially given her credit for, but Myrtenaster was one of few things that were strictly _mine_.

Her face fell and I felt a little like I'd just kicked a puppy. "_Please?_" she begged, wringing her hands. "I'll be really careful! I won't damage it at all, trust me, I'll be_crazy_ careful with it—"

"Stop," I sighed, recognizing the beginning of one of her tell-tale rambling spells. I drew my blade again, gaining her attention. "I'll let you hold it, but under _no_circumstances are you to use it. If you even _touch_ the dust cylinder, so _help_ me—"

"I won't!" she promised, that delighted grin brightening up her expression again.

I reluctantly passed the rapier to her. She took it reverently, awe etched into her expression. I kept a close eye on her as she turned it over in her hands, admiring the handiwork. I watched her for a moment before sighing and moving around behind her.

"Weiss—?"

"Straighten up," I ordered, tugging on the back of her hood to get my point across. "Feet shoulder width apart."

"What—"

"_Now_." Ruby still looked baffled but straightened up regardless, positioning her feet. "You're right-handed, right?"

"Well, yes—"

"Then _why_ are you holding Myrtenaster in your _left_ hand? Fix it."

It clicked finally and Ruby turned her head to grin at me as she shifted the rapier from her left hand to her right. "Are you gonna teach me how to fence?" she practically squeaked out. I cuffed her upside the head.

"Not if you don't stop squirming. Face forward." She started and did as I ordered. I lightly tapped the inside of her back foot with my boot. "Turn this foot out to the side." I had to move till I was only scant inches away from her to tug her arms into place. "Your grip needs work," I sighed, noting finally that she was holding my rapier like one would hold a nightstick.

"I've never used an actual sword before," she pointed out, not turning to look at me this time. Good, she was learning.

"Clearly." I took her right hand in mine, manipulating her fingers over the tang and tightening her grip on it. "See how that makes it easier to support the weight?"

"…Yeah…"

"Bend your knees just a little. There you go." I slid my left arm around her waist, my hand resting on her stomach. "Relax a little," I added. "Keep your upper body loose." I suspected that she'd never had to _relax_ to fight before; she wasn't able to manage it very well. "Come on, Red, relax."

"I'm trying!"

I tutted. "That's not relaxed. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly." I lightly drummed my fingers against the smooth leather of her corset. Ruby gave an irked little noise but made a visible effort to slow her breathing. I felt her slowly begin to relax against me.

A sharp cough from the practice room's door made us both look over.

Ruby's older sister was standing in the doorway, one hand over her mouth, face pink as she tried to contain her giggling. "Sorry, I uh…" She started snickering. "I didn't mean to uh…" Her snickers dissolved into full-on cackling. "_Interrupt_."

I felt my ears heat up. Ruby was still confused. "Yang, what's so funny?"

"Oh… nothing, nothing." She started backing out of the room, still trying to contain her laughter. "I'd say get a room, but it looks like you already _have_…"

"What?"

"_Nothing!_" Yang sing-songed, ducking back out and closing the door behind her. I could still hear her laughing down the hallway.

Ruby looked up at me, bemused. "Weiss, what was that all about?"

It took me a minute to reply. I was suddenly very aware of three things: one, I was still holding Ruby's hand; two, her back was pressed flush to my front; and three, I just got caught practically feeling up the younger fighter in front of her elder sister. I felt my blush spreading from my ears to my face.

"Weiss?"

"Nothing, I have no idea," I replied instantly, voice somehow still normal even though my words were… less so. I stepped away from her, clearing my throat. "In any case, this concludes lesson one."

She was disappointed. "Already?"

"Yes." I held out my hand. "Myrtenaster, if you will."

I wasn't able to look Ruby or Yang in the eye for a week.


End file.
